Best Jokes

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Two new work crews were putting in telephone poles. At the end of the day the foreman asked the first crew how many poles they had done.

"Twelve," was the reply. Then he asked the second crew and they said, "two."

"Two?" shouted the foreman. "The others did twelve!"

"Yeah," answered the leader of the second crew, "but you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground."

One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, California, we were preparing for a ten-mile march in 100-degree weather when a jeep drove up with a large radio in the back.

"Who knows anything about radios?" our drill instructor asked.

Several hands went up, and anticipating a ride in the jeep, recruits began listing their credentials. Everything from a degree in communications to a part-time job in a repair shop was declared.

The DI listened to all the contenders, then pointed to the most qualified. "You!" he barked. "Carry the radio."