Best Jokes

3 votes

Several definitions you will only find in my dictionary:

Acoustic - what you use when you shoot pool
Alimony - the fee a woman charges when she loses your name
Banjo - don't invite Joseph
Caddy - lad who stands behind a golfer and doesn't see the ball either
Carbuncle - auto collision

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Ed ORorke" |
3 votes

Q: What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?

A: Fire.

3 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

If I was a rapper my handle would be "Gershwin" and I'd demand that the cover art for my cd's would be exclusively rendered in blue designs.

That way I could truthfully say that they are Gershwin's rap cd's in blue.

3 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Peter P." |
$15.00 won 3 votes

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |