When the father found out his boy was not doing well in school, he told the teacher how bright his boy is.
She asked how can you say he is bright when he is doing do badly in school.
He replied, "Of course he's bright, he is my little son!"
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object that represented their religion to share with the class.
The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."
The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."
The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy. I am Presbyterian, and this is a casserole."
Boarding the aircraft for the first time, Judy settled into a window seat in the quietest part of the plane. A man came over and politely said, "Ma'am, you're in my seat."
"Go away and find another seat!" Judy replied.
He said, "Okay, fine, you fly the plane."
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2014 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"