Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Father: “Son, you’ve been looking skinny lately, you should eat more food.”
Son responds swiftly by going to a fast food restaurant, planning to order a hefty amount of food.
Son to cashier: “Let me get three double bacon cheeseburgers, two large shakes, and four medium fries.”
Cashier: “Will that be all?”
Son: “Will that be all? Do you realize how much food I just ordered? First my father thinks I don’t eat enough, now you?”
Cashier: “Can I get you anything else today?”
Son: “You know this is unbelievable, I’m really making an effort here!”
Cashier: “Would you like to see our specials?”
Two young lady friends hadn't seen each other in a long time and decided to meet for lunch. Their conversation got around to their respective love lives.
Marcy confessed there really wasn't anyone in her life at the moment. Heather started smiling like crazy when talking about her new beau. "He's perfect. He's so sweet. Then last night he said those four little words I've been waiting to hear."
"What? He asked you to marry him?" Marcy asked.
Heather said, "No, he said 'put your money away.'"
The more I study,
The more I know.
The more I know,
The more I forget.
The more I forget,
The less I know.
So why study?
Husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died, would you get married again?”
The husband said, “No sweetie.”
The woman said, “I’m sure you would.”
So the man said, “Okay, I would.”
Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”
And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.”
Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”
And the husband replied, “No, she’s left handed.”
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