Best Jokes

1. It's not funny to practice barking at 3 a.m.

2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet.

4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.

5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid

6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk

7. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can.

8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

9. No, it's my food... Oh alright then, just a small piece.

I wish working out was like taxes...

You suck it up, do it once...

And then you’re good for a year!

Two bacteria walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve bacteria here."

And the bacteria says, "But we work here. We're staph."

Honest------------ H is silent
Crumb------------ B is silent
Psychology------------ P is silent
Knee------------ K is silent
Butcher------------ T is silent
Sword------------ W is silent
Wife------------ Husband is silent