I wish working out was like taxes...
You suck it up, do it once...
And then you’re good for a year!
Two bacteria walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve bacteria here."
And the bacteria says, "But we work here. We're staph."
Honest------------ H is silent
Crumb------------ B is silent
Psychology------------ P is silent
Knee------------ K is silent
Butcher------------ T is silent
Sword------------ W is silent
Wife------------ Husband is silent
Father: “Son, you’ve been looking skinny lately, you should eat more food.”
Son responds swiftly by going to a fast food restaurant, planning to order a hefty amount of food.
Son to cashier: “Let me get three double bacon cheeseburgers, two large shakes, and four medium fries.”
Cashier: “Will that be all?”
Son: “Will that be all? Do you realize how much food I just ordered? First my father thinks I don’t eat enough, now you?”
Cashier: “Can I get you anything else today?”
Son: “You know this is unbelievable, I’m really making an effort here!”
Cashier: “Would you like to see our specials?”