A bald man had a real hang-up about his lack of hair. He had tried all types of treatment, but without success. Then one day he passed a barber’s shop with a sign in the window that read: “Bald Men. Your Problems Solved Instantly. You Too Can Have a Head of Hair Like Mine For Five Hundred Dollars.”
And beneath the sign was a photo of the barber with his flowing mane of hair. So the bald man went into the shop and asked the bartender, “Can you guarantee that for $500 my hair will instantly look like yours?”
“Certainly,” said the barber. “It will take no more than a few seconds for us to look exactly alike.”
“Okay then,” said the bald man, handing over the money. “Let’s go for it.”
The barber took the money and shaved his own hair off.
A balding man went into a barber’s shop and asked how much it would be for a haircut.
“Twenty-five dollars,” said the barber.
“Twenty-five dollars, that’s crazy!” exclaimed the man. “I’ve hardly got any hair. How can it be that expensive?”
The barber explained, “It’s $5 for the actual cut and $20 for the search fee.”
A golfer was enduring the most miserable round. Every shot he tried seemed to end in disaster. He and his caddie had trailed in and out of woodland, deep rough, a lake and countless sand traps. On the seventeenth hole he was left with a shot of 180 yards to the green.
“Do you think I can get there with a five-iron?” he asked his caddie.
The caddie sighed, “Eventually.”
A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were debating whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said: “When I get bad cards, it’s not the dealer’s fault. Similarly when I get good cards, the dealer isn’t responsible. So why should I tip him?”
The dealer countered: “When you eat out, do you tip the waiter?”
“Well, he serves you food, and I’m serving you cards, so you should tip me.”
“Fair enough,” said the player, “but the waiter gives me what I ask for. I’ll take an eight...”