D-Gellybean Profile

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D-Gellybean

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2016
# of jokes posted : 350
# of followers : 11
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 5
Location: United States
won: $ 138.00
$9.00 won 3 votes

Electile Dysfunction - the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President, put forth by either party in the 2016 election year.

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2016 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it .

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$5.00 won 1 votes

Everyone's heard of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as the ninth reindeer, but many people don't know that there is a tenth one whose name was Olive.

"Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$12.00 won 2 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

"Can I buy a live shark here?"

"Lady, what do you want with a live shark?"

"A neighbor's cat has been eating my goldfish, and I want to teach him a lesson."

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |