I was supposed to go out with this guy on Saturday night. On Saturday afternoon he called and said that he didn’t think it was a good idea, because he just wanted to be friends.
So I hung up and called him back. He said, "Hello?"
I replied, "Hey, friend, it’s me. Want to hear what this jerk just did?"
As a man serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.
"I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something," she suggested.
"I don't have a girlfriend," he answered.
"No girlfriend? Why not?"
"My wife won't let me. "