I was supposed to go out with this guy on Saturday night. On Saturday afternoon he called and said that he didn’t think it was a good idea, because he just wanted to be friends.
So I hung up and called him back. He said, "Hello?"
I replied, "Hey, friend, it’s me. Want to hear what this jerk just did?"
As a man serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.
"I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something," she suggested.
"I don't have a girlfriend," he answered.
"No girlfriend? Why not?"
"My wife won't let me. "
On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon my buddy and I stood on the first tee of our Golf Club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding dress came running up to him, crying.
She slaps him in the face, turns, and runs away.
My buddy turns to me and says calmly, "I don't know what her problem is. I distinctly told her only if it rained."