relationship jokes

Harold comes home from work one day. "I'm home, honey!" he says to his wife Joan. "You can serve the salad."

Joan tilts her head curiously. "How did you know we were having salad, dear?"

Harold replies, "I didn't smell anything burning."

I'm done with dating sites.

Now focused on pizza delivery guys.

Before I even meet them, I know they have a job, car, and a pizza.

If you don't know what to talk about on a first date, try mentioning Global Warming.

It's a huge Icebreaker.