relationship jokes

I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...

But unfortunately, the earth is round.

Six retired friends were playing poker when one of them loses $1500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. One of the guys says, “We’ve got to go tell his wife, who’s going to do it?”

They draw straws and Bob picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse. "Leave it to me," Bob says.

He goes over to his friend’s house and knocks on the door. When the dead man’s wife answers, Bob says, "Your husband just lost $1500 and is afraid to come home."

"$1500? Tell him to drop dead!" snarls the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Bob.

An elderly man enters a jewelry store on a Friday night with a beautiful, much younger woman and states that he is looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler brings out a $5,000 ring. The man says, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

The jeweler returns, this time with a $50,000 ring. The woman's eyes sparkle and the man seeing this, says, "We'll take it! I will give you a check now, so you can verify the funds on Monday with the bank. I'll then pick up the ring that afternoon."

On Monday morning, the jeweler phones to tell the man, "Sir, there's no money in that account."

"I know," is my reply. "But let me tell you about my weekend!"

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home now, Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of four."