"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband."
"Oh, everything went wrong! First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait. And then he said that I was reeling in too soon."
"That doesn't sound nice or relaxing."
"All that might have been all right, but to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish."
My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece to a weekend festival. When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank top with spaghetti straps. A debate began immediately about appropriate dress. I took the girl’s side, recalling that when we began dating, I dressed the same way.
“Yes,” said my boyfriend sternly, “and I said something about it, didn’t I?”
Everyone looked at me. “Yeah,” I replied. “You said, ‘What’s your phone number?'”
A close friend confided in me that she had finally found Mr. Right...
Later she confessed she did not realize that she had found Mr. Always Right!
What do you call the significant other of a Bohemian chess player?
Czechmate!