relationship jokes

On his deathbed barely able to breathe, Edward smelled the aroma of freshly baked brownies. He always had a passion for this confection and thought to himself, "If I could just have one more brownie I could die in peace!"

He called to his wife but his voice was so frail she couldn't hear him. Not getting an answer, he slid out of the bed and onto the floor, then dragged himself across the room and out into the hallway.
Down the hall and down the stairs he slowly moved, crawling hand over hand closer to that heavenly smell. At the bottom of the stairs he pulled himself along painfully—hand over hand closer to that delicious aroma. He continued—through the living room, across the dining room, and finally up into his chair at the dining table. He reached across the table and grabbed the tray of freshly baked brownies.

But as Edward dragged the tray toward himself it made a scraping noise, and suddenly he heard his wife yell from the kitchen, "Don't touch the brownies, they're for the funeral!"

Women have many faults, men only have two... everything they say and everything they do.

Question: How do you turn a fox into a pit bull?

Answer: You marry her.

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy pickings.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men......... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to get the best of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.