Upon receiving her manuscript with a rejection letter back from a major publishing company, the author sent a letter to the editor.
"Sir," she began, "you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18,19,20 and 21. My story came back with these pages still stuck together. I know you are a fraud and turned down the manuscript without reading them."
The editor replied: "Madam, at breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad."
A 17-year-old girl came home with five job applications. She carefully filled them out, and later asked her mother to look them over.
All the answers were clear and concise and she noticed that on all five applications, under "Previous Employment" she had listed 'Babysitting'.
But then she read under "Reason for Leaving" and her daughter had answered, 'Parents came home'.
The foreman on a contracted job started bawling out one of the men, "I've had slow men on jobs before but you are the slowest I've ever seen. Is there anything you are quick with?"
"Well," yawned the workman, "nobody can get tired as quick as I can."