work jokes

Category: "Work Jokes"
0 votes

I called into my crappy job last week and said that I was sick.

My boss asked me what was wrong, and I said that I had something wrong with my eyes.

When asked to elaborate, I said that I couldn't see myself coming into work today.

0 votes

posted by "Peter P." |
2 votes

Blowing Your Buffer - Losing your train of thought.

Career-Limiting Move (CLM) - Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops all over everything, and then leaves.

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."

2 votes

posted by "merk" |
$9.00 won 1 votes

I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."

Then I said: "Turn left here."

1 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$50.00 won 3 votes

A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.

The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”

The man says, “I’m probably too honest.”

The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”

The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”

3 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "I am innocent" |