work jokes

Category: "Work Jokes"
$25.00 won 6 votes

Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling. Moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.

Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire.

Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team was sent to search for him.

After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate.

Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, "Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It's the Red Cross."

Bristling, the harried executive called back, "Get lost. I gave at the office!"

6 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
1 votes

7. Being told to 'Think outside the Box' when you're in a box all day long.

6. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who's behind you.

5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.

4. There are 23 power cords but only ONE outlet.

3. Prison cells are not only bigger... they also have beds.

2. When tours come through, you get lots of peanuts thrown at you.

1. You can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

1 votes

posted by "merk" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, ''Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?''

''I don't know,'' responded the other.

''I'll ask him. ''So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. ''Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?''

''Intelligence,'' the boss said.

“What do you mean, 'intelligence'?''

The boss said, ''Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.''

The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, ''That's intelligence!''

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, ''What did he say?''

''He said we are down here because of intelligence.''

''What's intelligence?'' said the friend.

The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, ''Take your shovel and hit my hand.''

4 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
$15.00 won 8 votes

Interviewer: "Your resume says you take things too literally."

Me: “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”

8 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "ELECTION " |