I love my job, I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss; he is the best.
I love his boss and all the rest.
I love my office and its location.
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And the paper that piles up every day.
I love my chair in my padded cell.
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers.
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.
I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it don't care.
I love each program and every file,
I try to understand once in a while.
I'm happy to be here, I am, I am;
I'm the happiest slave of my Uncle Sam.
I love this work; I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job-I'll say it again.
I even love these friendly men,
These men who've come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away.
Young Office Worker, to older boss: "I think you're wanted on the phone, sir."
Older Boss: "What do you mean you think?"
Young Office Worker: "Well, when I answered the phone, a voice said, 'Is that you, you old fool?'"
Always give 100% at work!
Monday - 14%
Tuesday: - 26%
Wednesday - 42%
Thursday - 15%
Friday - 3%
A man said to a long-haul truck driver, "I'd love to drive a big rig," I said, "but I'd worry about falling asleep at the wheel."
"Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window."