My boss didn't come in to work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem.
When I asked what was wrong, he replied, "I just can't see myself at work today."
I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...
She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.
The warehouse foreman walked up on a worker and caught him napping.
"Hey!" the foreman shouted. "Why aren't you working?"
"Because I didn't see you coming."
"I get the feeling I'm going to get my old boss back again."
"I thought your old boss died?"
"He did die... and the company's going to the same place that he did!"