work jokes

Category: "Work Jokes"
$8.00 won 5 votes
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“Boss can I have a week off around Christmas?”

“It’s May...”

“Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$6.00 won 4 votes

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she or he keeps cranking out.

A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

4 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

-- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
-- Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
-- The more garbage you put up with, the more garbage you are going to get.
-- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
-- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
-- Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
-- When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
-- If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
-- There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
-- Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.

3 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
5 votes

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.

"Well it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2009," I informed him.

"Really?" he asked.

"No," I said.

5 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Adie Peter" |