Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the town tycoon, a modern-day scrooge.
One day during the winter the lake frozen over. The peddler realized that he could cut off two miles from his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the lake by the tycoon.
Scrooge came racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler, "I'll be darned if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!"
A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.
Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.
Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."
One of my job responsibilities is to input employee self-evaluations.
There was a junior manager's self-evaluation, which said in part, "I have been on the job for three months, and I finally feel as if I've accomplished something."
I made one mistake, however. I replaced the word 'job' with 'John'.
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss were on their way to a lunch meeting. In the cab they found a lamp. The boss rubbed it and a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you one wish each," the genie said.
Grabbing the lamp from his boss, the eager senior manager shouted, "I want to be on a fast boat in the Bahamas with no worries." And poof, he was gone.
The junior manager couldn't keep quiet. He shouted, "I want to be in Miami, with beautiful girls, and food, and cocktails." And poof, he was gone.
Finally, it was the boss's' turn. "I want those idiots back in the office after lunch."