I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...
She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.
The warehouse foreman walked up on a worker and caught him napping.
"Hey!" the foreman shouted. "Why aren't you working?"
"Because I didn't see you coming."
"I get the feeling I'm going to get my old boss back again."
"I thought your old boss died?"
"He did die... and the company's going to the same place that he did!"
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"
I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"