work jokes

A friend had a waitressing position open at his diner and asked job seekers to fill out an application.

Under “Salary Expected”, a woman wrote, “Friday”.

Having looked the other way for weeks, the boss finally called Smith into his office for a sit-down.

“You know, Smith,” he said, “I’ve noticed that every time you have to take your dear old aunt to her doctor’s appointments, there’s a home game over at the stadium.”

“Wow, sir. I guess you’re right,” Smith answered. “I didn’t realize it. You don’t think she’s faking it, do you?”

In the HR department in the large corporation where I work, I receive absentee slips for all the employees.

Over the years I’ve heard every excuse, but the other day I found one in my voicemail that I never heard before.

“I won’t be in today,” said my absent coworker. “I’ll call back later with an excuse.”

“That’s a great place to work!” shouted my 16-year-old brother after coming home from the first day of his first job.

“I get two weeks paid vacation.”

“I’m so glad,” said my mother.

“Yeah,” added John. “I can’t wait to find out where they send me.