marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
0 votes

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "You do not want to try these techniques at home!"

"Why not?" asked a man from the audience.

"After years of not paying attention, I suddenly noticed my wife's routine at breakfast," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets; often she carried just a single item at a time. So I asked her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once? It'd be much more efficient.'"

"Well, did your suggestions save much time?" the attendee asked.

"Actually, yes," the efficiency expert responded. "It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."

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posted by "wadejagz" |
0 votes

I was stunned last night when my wife told me I was too wrapped up in myself....

When did I get a wife?

0 votes
posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes

A man had been in a meeting that lasted all afternoon and as he walked out, he was tired and just wanted to go home. He reached into his coat pocket and realized his car keys were missing. He looked around but could not find his keys. He went outside to look in the car and discovered his car was gone too.

His car had been stolen. So he called the police, they came and took a report, and then the man called his wife to see if she would be able to come pick him up. She answered the phone and he told her the upsetting news. "Honey, you’re not going to believe this but my car was stolen while I was in the meeting."

There was a long pause, "I dropped you off at your meeting today. I have the car!" she said.

"Oh, that's right! I can't believe I forgot that. I'm glad the car is okay. Well, will you still come back and pick me up?"

She said, "Yes, of course I will. As soon as I convince this cop the car is not stolen."

1 votes
posted by "Gaulphier" |
2 votes

A husband and wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”

The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

2 votes
posted by "Harry F" |