When my wife and I were vacationing in the eastern part of our state, our car's license plate was stolen.
We planned to go to a local office for a replacement, but then we discovered that our registration had expired.
The new one was at home in a pile of mail. After much thought, we came up with a solution. Taping a sign over the empty license plate space on the rear of the vehicle, we made the eight-hour trip home safely.
Not a single state trooper stopped us, but many passing motorists took great pains to honk and wave at us.
Our sign read "Just Married!"
A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, ”Did you get a look at the driver?”
”No,” he said, “but I can tell you it was my ex-wife.”
“How do you know that?” asked the officer.
“I’d recognize her laugh anywhere!”
Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box.
"It's my wife's birthday tomorrow." Doug said. "Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday."
"And???" Bill asked.
"Well, she said 'Oh, I don't know just give me something with diamonds in it'."
"So what did you get her?" asked Bill.
"I bought her a deck of cards!!"