marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
$6.00 won 5 votes
 

My wife said to me, "How on earth are we going to use 9% less gas this winter?"

"You can stop burning my dinner for a start," I replied.

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Adie Peter" |
2 votes

While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.

"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Jolly Jack Holley" |
1 votes

At my granddaughter's wedding reception, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and me. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly married couple?"

I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"

Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |