marriage jokes

Category: "Marriage Jokes"
$5.00 won 2 votes

I wished my wife a Happy Birthday this morning and then joked, "The clown and the pony will be here a bit later!"

She responded, "Don't worry, I've been sheltering-in-place with the clown for almost a year now."

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Bill Sauro" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair, and has a smile that makes everybody love him.

The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."

The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.

She replies, "Just because I reported him missing doesn't mean I want him back!"

5 votes

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Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
1 votes

Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home state, Kansas, to the wedding.

My fiancee, explaining this to a friend, said that we were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony.

Our friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."

1 votes

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posted by "merk" |
2 votes

Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |