There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson.
She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home and his wife jumps out and screams in his face.
He just looks at her and says, “You don't scare me. I am married to your sister!”
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after several months, I said, "I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch."
"Fair enough. From now on I'll make my own," he replied. A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him afterwards.
"We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like," he suggested.
I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated and the waitress came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, "Separate checks, please..."