marriage jokes

I just found out what a honeymooner's sandwich is!

It's "lettuce alone" with no bread.

Bobbie to neighbor: “What are you getting your children for Christmas?”

Neighbor: “Well, if my husband doesn’t stop staying out until three in the morning, I’ll be getting my kids a new dad.”

An engaged couple was having an intense argument.

She: "If that's the kind of person you are, I'm going to break our engagement right now. My feelings towards you have changed. I don't want anything more to do with you."

He: "In that case give me my ring back!"

She: "My feelings toward you have changed. My feelings about the ring have not..."

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor.

When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse?"