An engaged couple was having an intense argument.
She: "If that's the kind of person you are, I'm going to break our engagement right now. My feelings towards you have changed. I don't want anything more to do with you."
He: "In that case give me my ring back!"
She: "My feelings toward you have changed. My feelings about the ring have not..."
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor.
When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse?"
On their second anniversary, a husband sent flowers to his wife at the office.
He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2!" on the card.
She was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card: "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."
I’m the best man at my buddy’s second wedding.
Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with, “Welcome back everyone!”?