marriage jokes

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.

"What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

They decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

That night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally and once the cheers die down a little I shout out, “Do you have a name for the baby yet?”

My brother replies, “Yeah. Landa Noelle.”

Everyone starts to “Ooohhh” and “Ahhhh” and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, “How the heck are you supposed to spell Landa with no L?”

A wife served some homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast and waited eagerly for her husband’s reaction.

When none was immediately forthcoming, she asked, “If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?”

Without looking up from his newspaper, he replied, “About ten years.”