A wife served some homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast and waited eagerly for her husband’s reaction.
When none was immediately forthcoming, she asked, “If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?”
Without looking up from his newspaper, he replied, “About ten years.”
My friend Jim told me that when he asked his wife where she wanted to go on vacation, she said that being married to him was a vacation.
When I commented that was a nice thing to say to him, Jim replied, "Well, actually, what she said was I was the 'last resort.'"
I was invited to a wedding and when I get to the hotel, I realized there were two doors.
1st door it was Bride Relatives. 2nd door it was groom relatives.
So I decided to enter the groom's door and I found two door again.
1st Ladies. 2nd Men.
I entered men's Door and once again I found two doors.
1st people with gifts. 2nd people without gifts.
So I used to the 2nd door (people without gifts) and then I found myself outside the hotel.
A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband.
"Do I look fat in this dress?" the wife asks.
"Do I look dumb in this shirt?" the husband replies.