marriage jokes

"How about two of them?" asked the pharmacist to the man who was buying a toothbrush. "One for your wife?"

"No, thanks. When I buy a new one, I always give her the old one."

He paused while several other curstomers in the store gasped, and then he added, "She uses it to clean her shoes."

Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth."

"But you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it?"

"Simple... If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"