Mr. Maxey was visiting his lawyer to discuss how unreasonable his wife was being.
Lawyer: "What were you and your wife fighting about this time?"
Mr. Maxey: "I pointed out that she was trying to drive a nail in the wall with a hair brush. Is this any reason to get mad?"
Lawyer: "Is that all you said?"
Mr. Maxey: "Well, I just suggested that she would have better luck using her head."
I just found out what a honeymooner's sandwich is!
It's "lettuce alone" with no bread.
Bobbie to neighbor: “What are you getting your children for Christmas?”
Neighbor: “Well, if my husband doesn’t stop staying out until three in the morning, I’ll be getting my kids a new dad.”
An engaged couple was having an intense argument.
She: "If that's the kind of person you are, I'm going to break our engagement right now. My feelings towards you have changed. I don't want anything more to do with you."
He: "In that case give me my ring back!"
She: "My feelings toward you have changed. My feelings about the ring have not..."