One of my employees who was deeply involved in finishing a report for the upcoming board meeting received a call from his wife that had good news and bad news.
Because of the deadline he asked if she could just give him the good news. The wife replied "Okay, the good news is that the air bags work."
A woman rushes into her house one morning and yells to her husband, "Sam, pack up your stuff. I just won the lottery!"
"Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
"Whatever. Just so you're out of the house by noon!"
A bachelor is defined as:
A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"