A bachelor is defined as:
A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"
Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.
I said, “Wait, I can change!”