marriage jokes
Favorite this joke "I want to divorce my wife."
"On what grounds?"
"She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar."
"Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?"
"No, she is looking for me."
My wife, a registered nurse, once fussed over every pain or mishap that came my way. Recently, however, I got an indication that the honeymoon is over.
I was about to fix the attic fan, and as I lifted myself from the ladder in the attic, I scratched my forehead on a crossbeam. Crawling along, I picked up splinters in both hands, and I cut one hand replacing the fan belt. On the way down the ladder, I missed the last two rungs and turned my ankle.
When I limped into the kitchen, my wife took one look and said, "Are those your good pants?"
A husband and wife were arguing about who gets to go to the gym and who has to stay home and babysit.
The husband says, "If the gym just had child care we could go together."
To which his wife replied, "I think you'd frighten away the other children dear!"
Therapist: "So why do you want to end your marriage?"
Wife: "I hate the constant star wars puns."
Husband: "Divorce is strong with this one!"
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