marriage jokes

The Sheriff's girl friend constantly asked the Sheriff to get married.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the bank robbers.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the rustlers.

Girl: Please, let's get married?
Sheriff: I can't I have to go catch those who held up the train.

Moral of the story: Some men would rather fight outlaws than in-laws!

Last night I was relaxing on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen: "Oh sweetheart, what would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"

I said, "Thank you, darling. I think I'll have chicken."

She replied, "You're havin' a peanut butter sandwich. I was talkin' to the dog!"

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE AND FINISHED. Some people say there is no difference but there is.

When you marry the right person, you are COMPLETE.

When you marry the wrong person, you are FINISHED.

And if you marry someone who spends too much money, then you are COMPLETELY FINISHED.

A fellow married a woman, named, Ann.

Years later they divorced.

Now, he refers to her as "my Ann-ex".