marriage jokes

The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"

The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no, I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you are going to have to fend for yourselves."

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."

"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked Dewey, the new husband.

"Toast and juice," Tracy replied.

Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.

As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say.

"It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."

Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out, "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"

How does a woman turn a man into a millionaire?

She marries a billionaire.