A married man left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.
After a few of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for a couple of days?”
The husband couldn’t believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled, and said, “That would suit me just fine.”
Monday went by, and the man didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn’t see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
The Law of Equality states:
The time taken by a wife when she says "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" is exactly equal to the to the time taken by husband when he says "I'll call you in 5 mins."
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no, I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you are going to have to fend for yourselves."
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked Dewey, the new husband.
"Toast and juice," Tracy replied.