marriage jokes

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

"You know, love" she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is wrinkled, and my body isn't what it used to be." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He thinks about it for a bit and then says in a soft voice, "Well... your eyesight seems to be good."

A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no secrets except for one. The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbed - and with her blessing - he opened the box and found a crocheted doll and $60,000 in cash.

“My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue,” she explained. “So instead of arguing, I would keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the box, meaning that she’d been angry with him only once in 60 years. “But what about all this money?” he asked.

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

There's a new drug on the market for women whose husbands are taking Viagra.

The drug's name is Agravin...

It gives a woman an instant headache.