John: Do you know how many children a family would have if the husband had to share in the labor and delivery?

Fred: No I have no idea.

John: They would only have three. The woman would have the first one, the husband the second and the wife would have the third. There would be no more because the husband has no intention of going through it again.

A camel can work for a week without drinking...

A man can drink for a week without working.

John: I hear your having trouble at the office.

Fred: Yes! The Director thinks the bookkeeper has been embezzling money.

John: What brought him to that conclusion?

Fred: The auditor found an account marked "Accounts Deceivable".