money jokes

My wife is a compulsive shopper.

She likes to buy everything that’s marked down.

Last night she brought home an escalator!

Joe: Every night I take two quarters to bed with me.

Peter: Whatever for?

Joe: They are my sleeping quarters.

Tim: I wish I had the money to buy an elephant.

Tom: What do you want with an elephant?

Tim: Nothing, I just want the money.

Beggar: Pardon me, but would you give me fifty cents for a sandwich?

Passerby: I don’t know, let’s see the sandwich.