money jokes
Favorite this joke A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were debating whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said: “When I get bad cards, it’s not the dealer’s fault. Similarly when I get good cards, the dealer isn’t responsible. So why should I tip him?”
The dealer countered: “When you eat out, do you tip the waiter?”
“Er, yes.”
“Well, he serves you food, and I’m serving you cards, so you should tip me.”
“Fair enough,” said the player, “but the waiter gives me what I ask for. I’ll take an eight...”
Harry was a compulsive gambler who would bet on anything — cards, horses, roulette, dogs, football, baseball, dice, basketball. One day after a run of bad luck, he said to his best friend, “Buddy, I hate asking you this, but I need $3,000 urgently. We’ve got no food in the house, I owe three months rent, the kids need new clothes, and my wife is too ashamed to go out because we have bad checks at every store in town. Is there any way you can help me out?”
The friend thought for a moment before writing Harry a check for $4,000 so that he could get back on his feet. “But, there’s one condition,” he said. “I don’t want you use the money for gambling.”
“No worries,” said Harry. “I’ve got money put aside for that.”
Tim: Down at the bus stop, everyone is hunting for a few quarters someone dropped?
Tom: I suppose you were looking around too.
Tim: No, I was just standing there with my foot on the quarters.
4th Place
won
$12.00
Two friends are chatting...
"I will give one million dollars to the person who will fulfill my wish."
"What is your wish?"
"That somebody would give me two million dollars."
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