My wife is a compulsive shopper.
She likes to buy everything that’s marked down.
Last night she brought home an escalator!
Joe: Every night I take two quarters to bed with me.
Peter: Whatever for?
Joe: They are my sleeping quarters.
Tim: I wish I had the money to buy an elephant.
Tom: What do you want with an elephant?
Tim: Nothing, I just want the money.
Beggar: Pardon me, but would you give me fifty cents for a sandwich?
Passerby: I don’t know, let’s see the sandwich.