Ms. Warner: "Well, how are you getting on in your new eight room house?"
Ms. Kyle: "Oh, not so badly. We furnished one of the bedrooms by collecting soap coupons."
Ms. Warner: "Didn't you furnished the other seven rooms?"
Ms. Kyle: "We can't. They are full of the soap."
A family known for being extremely frugal was blessed with twin girls. Around three months a neighbor suggested that they have their pictures taken. The father thought this was a good ideal and the next time he saw the neighbor he showed him a photograph.
"This is a fine picture" said the neighbor. "But this is a picture of one of the girls. Where is the other one?"
"Well," said the father, "when we got to the photographer's, the good wife and I decided that since the twins look exactly alike, one picture would do for both of them."
Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, "I'm sorry about not speaking more clearly. I've been to the dentist."
"You should have used the drive-through," she said.
"Everyone who goes through sounds like you," she explained.