Beggar: Pardon me, but would you give me fifty cents for a sandwich?
Passerby: I don’t know, let’s see the sandwich.
How do you know you've met a good tax accountant?
He has a loophole named after him.
"I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?"
"Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on?"
The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.