money jokes

Pulling into my service station 45 minutes late one morning, I shouted to the customers, "I’ll turn the pumps on right away!"

What I didn’t know was that the night crew had left them on all night. By the time I got to the office, most of the cars had filled up and driven off. Only one customer stayed to pay.

My heart sank. Then the customer pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and handed it to me.

"We kept passing the money to the last guy," he said. "We figured you’d get here sooner or later."

I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase.

After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.

It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.

A man was standing in a line at a bank to withdraw cash. After an hour his turn came and he gave his bank details to the cashier. The cashier said, "I am sorry, sir. There's no cash."

Fuming with anger, the man rushed to the manager's room and yelled at him. "You are a big bank and you don't have cash? Close my account!" he demanded.

The manager pacified the man and rushed to the cashier. Minutes later he returned and the man asked, "Did you bring my cash or you are still running out of it?"

The manager replied, "Sir, we have enough cash. Unfortunately, your account does not."

A customer goes to the bank to make a deposit.

Teller: "Sorry sir. This $100 bill is a fake one. We cannot accept it."

Customer: "What's the big deal? I'm depositing it into my account, right?"