At the weekly senior lunch, it came time for diners to share positive family stories. Grandpa was hard pressed and had to reach for a good one.
As he cleared his throat he said, "My grandson, in his first three little league games of the season, he has three no-hit games!"
"Wow!" Came of voice from the back. "Sounds like he's gonna be a great pitcher!"
After a pause, Grandpa stuttered, "Well, I meant as a batter..."
Teacher at PTA group meeting one evening...
"All right, class! Let us show your parents and our guests here tonight how much you have learned about patriotism and citizenship. Can any student please tell me why November 3rd is so important and always remembered?"
A small hand is raised in the back... "Yes, Johnny. Please share with us."
Johnny stands up and answers: "That day is so important to Americans and will always be remembered because we won't see non-stop political ads anymore till the next election."