Three farmers chat. The first one tells, "I have grown such a big apple that when I put it on a chair, it broke down."
The second one says, "I have grown an even bigger apple! When I put it on a table, it broke."
The third one says, "I grew an extremely big apple. I put it in a carriage..."
The two farmers interrupt, "Did it break???"
"No, a worm got out of it and ate the horse!"
A Texas rancher visited an old Irish Farmer. The old Irishman was very proud of his farm, since it was passed down for many generations. He took the Texan outside and told him his farm boundary went from the tall tree, over to the road, down to the end of the white fence, back behind the barn to the oak post and then back to the tree.
The Texan said at his farm in Texas, he could drive East in his truck all day and not reach the end of his property, South the next day all day and not reach the end of his property, West the next day all day and not reach the end of his property and North the next day all day and not reach the end of his property.
The Irishman thought about the Texan’s description about his ranch and said, “I had a truck like that one time.”