A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can cut down 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY!
The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the farmer says, “What’s that noise?”
A Texan was visiting a Maine farmer. The Texas rancher was boasting to his host about the size of his ranch. "I can get into my pickup truck and drive all day and still not reach the boundary of my ranch," he bragged.
The Mainer shook his head knowingly, and replied, "Aayuhh, I had a truck like that once."
Little Johnny did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said, "Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the bull."
"Oh I see," said the teacher, "but I'm sure your father could have done that."
"No ma'am, he couldn't have," said Johnny, "it has to be the bull"