farmer jokes

The city boy goes west to visit his uncle. After the sun goes down, the boy hears strange, another-world howling. He gets frightened and runs to his uncle. "Uncle, uncle, there are werewolves!"

"That's rubbish, boy, ain't no such thing".

"'Then, there must be man-eating wolves".

"No, we haven't got those buddies, either."

"What is this sound, then?" the boy asks.

"They are coyotes".

"Coyotes? What are those?"

"They look a lot like dogs. In fact, ya can consider them a kind of dog."

The boy wants to find out more: "Why are they making that frightening noise?"

"See, nephew, we ain't got many trees around here. We got cactuses!"

How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

He looks through the cattlelog.

One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse.

Hoping to buy the animal, he said to the farmer: "I think your horse looks pretty good, so I'll give you $500 for him."

"He doesn't look good, and he's not for sale," the farmer said.

The man insisted, "I think he looks good and I'll up the price to $1000!"

"He doesn't look so good," the farmer said, "but if you want him that much, he's yours."

The next day the man came back raging mad. He went up to the farmer and screamed, "You sold me a blind horse! You cheated me!"

The farmer calmly replied, "I told you he didn't look so good, didn't I?"

Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed. They stopped to inform a farmer that he was no longer in Maine, but now in New Hampshire.

After a long pause, he grunted and said, "That's good. I couldn't take another one of these Maine winters."