The farmer met his kin at the railroad station. “Uncle, I’m mighty glad to see you, he greeted. “That crate of chickens you sent me bust open just as I was going to take ‘em out and they ran all over the place. I chase ‘em through my neighbor’s yard and only got back eleven.” “You did okay,” said uncle. “I only sent you six.”
It was a disastrous year for the farmers. The snow fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand. “It must have been terrible,” said the government man to a farmer. “All that snow.” “Could have been worse,” calmly answered the farmer. “My neighbor had more snow than me.” “How’s that?” asked the government man.
“More land,” replied the farmer.
A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."
The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."
So the old farmer went about his farm chores.
Later, he heard loud screams and saw the State Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step!!
The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!"
Two brothers were raised on a farm, one brother moved to town. Every year, the city brother would come out to visit the farmer brother. Every time he came out, the farmer brother was complaining about his crops. It was too hot or too cold, too wet or too dry, prices were low, the crops looked bad. As the city brother was driving out one year, he noticed the crops looking great. He had the radio on and crops were hitting an all time high. As he got out to the farm, here was the farmer brother sitting in a rocking chair with a grumpy looking on his face. The city brother asked why he was in a bad mood. The crops looked great, the right amount of rain, temp., and prices were setting records highs. The farmer brother said, you know what a crop like this takes out of the soil?