A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting, “The end of the world is tonight!”
I'm not positive, but I think it was Farmer Geddon.
A southern gentleman decided to plant yeast in his fields...
He know "the South will rise again!"
Three farmers chat. The first one tells, "I have grown such a big apple that when I put it on a chair, it broke down."
The second one says, "I have grown an even bigger apple! When I put it on a table, it broke."
The third one says, "I grew an extremely big apple. I put it in a carriage..."
The two farmers interrupt, "Did it break???"
"No, a worm got out of it and ate the horse!"
Why did the farmer plough his field with a steam roller?
Because he wanted to grow mashed potatoes.