farmer jokes

There are three farmers who look and sound alike

Farmer 1: "What are we doing today?"

Farmer 2: "What we do everyday."

Farmer 1: "What’s that?"

Farmer 2: "Find out what farmer #3 is doing."

Farmer 1: "Wait... I thought you were farmer #3?"

An accountant is in a car traveling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large group of sheep and the farmer says, "You're pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?"

The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, "One thousand, eight hundred and thirty two."

The farmer is amazed. "Exactly right," he says. "How did you work that out so fast?"

"Easy," says the accountant, "I counted the number of feet and divided by four."

How does a farmer patch his pants?

He uses a Cabbage Patch!

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions.

"Don't know how to get there," the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away.

Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U-turn and drove up to them.

"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know how to get there either."