A tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry.
“Don’t be scared, Susan,” her husband said. “We are not hurt.”
Susan continued to cry. “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs. “I’m happy ‘cause this is the first time in 15 years we’ve been out together.
A man traveling through the country stopped at a small roadside fruit stand and bought some apples. When he mentioned they were awfully small, the farmer replied, “Yup”
The man took a bite of one of the apples and exclaimed, “Not very flavorful, either.”
“That’s right,” said the farmer. “Lucky they’re small, ain’t it?”
A farmer and his wife had just waken up one morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in bed, the farmer's wife says, "Pa, you know our neighbor Mr. Jones?"
"Yes Ma, I reckon I do," replied the sleepy farmer.
"Well, every morning before he leaves the house for work, he gives his wife a big ol' kiss. Why don't you ever do that?"
The farmer sighed and said, "Well, I reckon I can, but I just don't know her very well."
Q: Why did the farmer receive an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field (out standing in his field)