teacher jokes

Two years after my heart attack, I was teaching my college course when I felt discomfort in my chest. I paused the class to pop my medication and felt better quickly.

“Now, if I ever do have a heart attack,” I told my students, “I will give extra credit to whoever gives me CPR.”

One of them shouted out, ”How much?”

My second-grade student came running up to me, whining. “Look what Robert stuck on my back!"

It was a sticky note with the words “Kick me, I’m stupid” written on it.

I took Robert aside and lectured him on how to treat people with kindness and the importance of being polite and encouraging.

A few minute later, I heard, “Look what Robert stuck on my back!”

It was that first little boy, holding another sticky note.

This one said, “Kick me, I’m smart.”

I had always prided myself on being an "on time" person. One morning I overslept and rushed around getting ready for Sunday school. As I ran out the door, my husband tried to say something.

"What?" I called back. "Don't slow me down, I'm late!"

"No you're not," he responded. "It's Saturday."