Teacher: "What's the difference between 'He cleans the plate' and 'The plate is cleaned by him'?"
Student: "In first sentence he is not married, but in second sentence he is married!"
Teacher: "John, what's the matter? Why are you looking so upset?"
John: "My dad is in police station and my mom is in hospital!"
Teacher: "Oh God! Please go home!"
The principal happened to see John leave. He asks the teacher, "Where's John heading to?"
Teacher: "I permitted him to go home because his dad is in police station and mom is in hospital."
Principal: "His dad is a cop and his mom is a nurse... where else they would be?"
Teacher: "When I was of your age, I learned very quickly and was not as slow as you are."
Student: "Wow, you must have had a good teacher then, didn't you?"
During the final exam, the professor noticed that Billy Walters kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor no other choice than to interrogate the student's test-taking habit.
"Mr. Walters," the professor began. "Is there something interesting written on your palm?"
"Not at all," Billy replied. "It's all pretty boring."