THINGS YOU MAY HEAR JUST BEFORE UNEMPLOYMENT...
- I don't know what we'll do without you, but we are going to try!
- We told everyone you are leaving because of illness. The truth is I'm sick of you.
- It's not that you aren't a responsible worker. In fact, you've been responsible for more disasters than anyone else in the place.
- Today I'm going to mix business with pleasure. You're fired!
- I've got good news for you. You won't have to worry about being late for work ever again.
- Tell me, how long have you been with us not counting tomorrow?
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels.
The crew's foreman calls the office and tells his supervisor the situation.
The supervisor says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels... just lean on each other until they arrive."
A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem.
The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem."
The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself."
The marketing manager says, "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's ship it!"