Two weeks after my one-year-old's photo shoot, I returned to the studio to view the pictures on a color monitor.
The photographer started describing the merits of each photo, but as he went through the set, he spoke so quickly that I couldn't get a word in as he pressed home his sales pitch.
Finally, after we'd seen all 20 poses, he asked me which ones I was most interested in.
"None," I replied. "This isn't my child."
A woman saw an electrician walking up her drive and rushed to the door.
"Why did you come today?" she barked. "You were supposed to repair the doorbell yesterday?
I know," the electrician replied. "I rang three times. There was no answer, so I thought you must be out."
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"Excuse me?" the accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"
"I'll start you at eighty thousand."
"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."