At a job Interview...
“What are your strengths?”
“I take matters in my own hands.”
"Okay, thank you. We will contact you.”
“No, I will contact you."
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands.
He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.
The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."
The body of any organization has four bones:
1. Wish bones, who spend all their time wishing someone else will do all the work.
2. Jaw Bones, who do all the talking and very little else.
3. Knuckle Bones, who knock everything that everybody else tries to do.
4. Back Bones, who get under the load and do all the work.
My daughter called me at work to say I had received a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account.
Returning the call to my bank, the operator asked what Josh's last name was. I explained that he hadn't left his last name.
Then she asked for his department, and I said that I didn't know that either.
"There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she told me rather sharply.
So I asked her for her name.
"Danielle," she said.
"And your last name?" I asked.
"Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names."