A sign in a Shoe Repair Store:
- We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.
At an Optometrist's Office:
- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a Plumber's truck:
- We repair what your husband fixed.
- Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
On an Electrician's truck:
- Let us remove your shorts.
At a Car Dealership:
- The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.
Outside a Muffler Shop:
- No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit... Stay...
At the Electric Company:
- We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
- Drive carefully. We'll wait.
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
- Best place in town to take a leak.
Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
- Caution... this truck is full of Political Promises.
The owner of a factory that manufactures thick, brown syrup, produced during the refining of sugar, called his production crew in. "We have more work than we have people do it," he told his staff. "And, I find that the women we've hired in the past do a far better job then the men."
"What do you suggest we do?" asked one employee.
"It's simple," the owner said. "We need mo'lasses!"