Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.
So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night's sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work.
"Boss," he said, "the pill my doctor subscribed me actually worked!"
"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
A sign in a Shoe Repair Store:
- We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.
At an Optometrist's Office:
- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a Plumber's truck:
- We repair what your husband fixed.
- Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
On an Electrician's truck:
- Let us remove your shorts.
At a Car Dealership:
- The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.
Outside a Muffler Shop:
- No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit... Stay...
At the Electric Company:
- We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
- Drive carefully. We'll wait.
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
- Best place in town to take a leak.
Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
- Caution... this truck is full of Political Promises.