The owner of a factory that manufactures thick, brown syrup, produced during the refining of sugar, called his production crew in. "We have more work than we have people do it," he told his staff. "And, I find that the women we've hired in the past do a far better job then the men."
"What do you suggest we do?" asked one employee.
"It's simple," the owner said. "We need mo'lasses!"
To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"
"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"
The clerk replies, "Canned or frozen?"