John: I hear your having trouble at the office.
Fred: Yes! The Director thinks the bookkeeper has been embezzling money.
John: What brought him to that conclusion?
Fred: The auditor found an account marked "Accounts Deceivable".
At the company water cooler, a man bragged about his children and their world travels. He said,
"One son is teaching in Bolivia, another is working in southern Italy, and my daughter is completing a year-long research project in India."
One of the co-worker's quipped, "Wow... what is it about you that makes your kids want to get so far away?"
I went for an interview at a big IT company today for the position of Computer Hacking Investigator.
The boss asked me, "So, what makes you suitable for this job?"
"Well," I replied, "I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview!"
The CEO of a large cooperation was giving advice to a junior executive. "I was young, married and out of work," he lectured. "I took the last nickel I had and bought an apple. I polished it and sold it for a dime. The next day I bought two apples, polished them and sold them for ten cents each."
"I see," said the junior executive. "You kept reinvesting your money and grew a big business."
"No," said the CEO. "Then my wife's father died and left me a fortune."