What exactly is junk?

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

For the first time in many years, a friend of ours traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie.

After buying his ticket he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, my friend couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movie, popcorn was only 15 cents."

"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to wondering about things: "Mommy, why has Daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother.

"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.

"So why do YOU have so much hair?" Little Johnny asks.

"Go eat your breakfast!" snarled his mother.

Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife:

"Someone from the Guyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn't know you liked beer?"