A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems. The doctor asks him what he's been eating.
"I only eat pool balls," he says. "Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner."
"I see the problem," says the doctor. "You're not getting enough greens."
One man who loved the color yellow had yellow carpet, yellow furniture, yellow drapes, yellow walls and even yellow appliances in his yellow kitchen. He slept in a yellow bed with yellow covers and wore yellow pajamas. He got sick. You guessed it ... yellow jaundice.
He called a doctor who came to his apartment building. The manager told him he'd have no trouble finding the right one. "You just go down the hall and come to a yellow door," he said. "That's the one."
In a few moments the doctor was back. The apartment manager asked, "Were you able to help him?"
The doctor replied, "Help him! I couldn't even FIND him!"
A man went to his doctor and said, "Help me, doctor. I think my eyesight is getting worse."
The doctor asked the man to look out the window. "Tell me what you see," he said, pointing.
"I see the sun," the man replied.
The doctor turned to him and asked, "Just how much farther do you want to see?"
Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead.
The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck!" He shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.
The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmm... green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.
A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking and brings the bird down. He turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."