A man goes to the doctor and sits in the waiting room. A lady shuffles out from the doctor's door and sits next to him, waiting for her follow-up appointment. A bandage is wrapped around her head. "Gee, what happened to you?" the man asks.
She says, "I've got earosis and the doctor had to cut off my ear."
Unsettled, the man waits a bit more and another woman shuffles out with her leg fully bandaged. She takes the remaining unoccupied seat next to him. He turns to her, "What happened to you?"
She replied, "Oh, I've got ptomaine poisoning and the doctor had to cut off my toe."
The man is fully upset and walks out of the office as the receptionist calls out: "Mr. Jones, the doctor will see you for your asthma!"
A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often, "Lord I hope I'm sick."
After about the 5th or 6th time, the receptionist couldn't stand it any longer and asked, "Why in the world would you want to be sick Mr. Adams?"
The man replied, "I'd hate to be well and feel like this."
A man went to his doctor.
When the doctor entered the examining room, the man cried, “My hair is falling out! Can you give me something to keep it in?”
“Of course,” said the doctor reassuringly, and he handed the man a small box. “Will this be big enough?”
A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"
"Relax," says the doctor, "you're just having an auto-body experience."