doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
$12.00 won 2 votes

After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news.

"We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good I'm afraid," the doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice.

Ralph looked at Lena and with a soft trembling voice said, "But doctor, she's so young. She's only forty-five."

"Thirty-Seven," came the weak reply from Lena.

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes

My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.

Her response: "Just meet me in the parking lot!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "merk" |
2 votes
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Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.

He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backward and said, "You can't touch those babies, you aren't sterile!"

Without missing a beat my husband retorted, "Obviously, I'm not sterile!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$25.00 won 2 votes

Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"

The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"

The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"

The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"

Jane says, "No."

"Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor.

"No," says Jimmy's mom.

The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"

Again Jane says, "No."

"Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor.

"No," says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin...shouldn't I do something?"

To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |