doctor jokes

I asked my therapist what I could do about my fear of hugging.

She said, "Embrace it."

The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news."

Dan said, "Give me the good news."

"They're going to name a disease after you."

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:

"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."

Underneath, a nurse had written:

"The last five are pretty risky, too."

The psychiatrist pulls the new nurse to the side.

"Is something wrong, Doctor?" she asks.

The psychiatrist takes a moment before answering, "Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"