doctor jokes

My doctor has advised me to stop drinking.

It's going to be a massive change for me.

I've been with that doctor for 15 years.

Doctor: "Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?"

Patient: "Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't have the money?"

Patient: Doctor, I have a tendency to gain weight in certain places. What would you recommend?

Doctor: Stay out of those places!

Friend 1: Let's go for a movie.

Friend 2: I've got a doctor's appointment today.

Friend 1: Just cancel it, tell him you're sick.