doctor jokes

Category: "Doctor Jokes"
1 votes

Mr. Jones: Doc, I can't sleep.

Doctor: You used to count sheep and told me it worked. Any idea why the sheep counting method quit working?

Mr. Jones: When I count the sheep now they're shivering and it's upsetting.

Doctor: When did this problem start?

Mr. Jones: Right after I bought a very warm wool blanket.

1 votes

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posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

I said to my doctor, "I'm having serious problems with my memory."

He said, "Give me an example."

I said, "The other day I spent two hours in a multi-story car park trying to remember where I'd parked my car."

He laughed and said, "That's nothing to worry about, we've all done that."

I said, "But I don't own a car."

1 votes

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posted by "aod318" |
1 votes

A frantic woman takes her kid to the doctor. "Doctor, doctor," she says. "My son swallowed a pen!"

The doctor says, “Calm down madam. I’ll take care of it. But let me get some information first." He takes a clipboard with a form and asks her, “Name?”

The woman replies, “Parker”

After a movement of thought the doctor says, “The name of the BOY, Madam, not the pen brand.”

1 votes

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posted by "Raj Padmanathan " |
$8.00 won 2 votes

Upon returning rather late from an annual physical my wife was wondering how it went. I replied, ”Very routine. He asked if I am continuing to exercise regularly. I replied, ‘yes.’ And am I watching my diet and eating healthy foods to which I replied, ‘of course.’ And are you limiting your alcohol consumption to 1-2 drinks per week I responded ‘absolutely.‘"

My wife then asked, “Then why are you so late?”

“I had to stop at church and go to confession.”

2 votes

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posted by "Jquattro" |