doctor jokes

"What are the chances of my recovering?" asked the bedridden man.

"One hundred percent," the physician reassured him. "Medical records show that nine out of ten die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. Others all died. Statistics are statistics. You'll be fine soon enough."

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.

He told me to quit going to those places.

"Doctor," said the sick man, "the other doctors seem to differ from you in their diagnosis of my case."

"I know," replied the physician cheerfully, "but the post-mortem will show that I am right."