Ryan Faidley Profile

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Ryan Faidley

User Details

Member Since : Feb, 2020
# of jokes posted : 234
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 755.00
$25.00 won 5 votes

Following a heavy-metal rock concert, one punk rocker stopped at the front desk of the hotel and asked if she had any messages.
The desk clerk handed her an unsigned note, and she asked for a description of the person who had left it.

"That's easy," replied the clerk. "He wore tight orange-leather pants, high-heeled black boots and a T-shirt with strategically cut holes. I remember a row of colored safety pins through the outside edge of one ear, and he wore purple eyeshadow. And his hair was orange and spiked."

"Oh, man," she said, obviously disappointed, "that could be anybody."

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

A grocer put up a sign that read: "Eggplants, $0.25 each -- three for a dollar."

All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."

5 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

Little Josh was brought to Dr. Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr. Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn't work. A little pleading, to no avail.

Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye. He said, "Look young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I. You're not going anywhere until you eat something. You can have whatever you want, but only after you have eaten will you leave."

Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said, "OK. I'll eat but I have some conditions. First, I'll have exactly what I want and exactly how I want it and second you'll share with me."

Dr. Gill was OK with this. He asked the child what he'd like. "Worms!" said Josh.

Dr. Gill was horrified but didn't want to back out and seem like a loser. So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in. "Not that many, just one," yelled Josh as he saw the plate.

So, everything other than one worm was removed. Josh then demanded that the single worm be cut into two pieces and then Dr. Gill eat half. Dr. Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing, barely managing to keep his cool, said, "OK, now eat!"

Josh refused as he sobbed, "No way! You ate my half!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$50.00 won 6 votes
 

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.'

Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her.

The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?"

A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!"

6 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |