family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
0 votes

My two-year old granddaughter, Sally was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by the dentist.

Sally kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed.

With about six other patients waiting, Sally marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "Wake up! This is not church!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
4 votes

While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, a lady was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son.

She couldn't help but laugh as she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember... after we land, run to Dad first, then the dog."

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 3 votes

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been. It's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart."

I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test, then you have to be the daddy?"

"Exactly," I replied back, with a big smile on my face.

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$15.00 won 2 votes

A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.

The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual."

"Why is that?" the mother asked.

"We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "merk" |