family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
$6.00 won 6 votes
 

Two mothers met for coffee. "Well Ruthie, how are the kids?"

"To tell you the truth, my son has married a real tramp!" says Ruth. "She doesn't get out of bed until 11. She's out all day spending his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner for him? Ha! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant."

"Oh! What a shame. And how about your daughter?"

"Ah! Now there's a lucky girl. She has married a saint. He brings her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough money to buy whatever she needs, and in the evening he always takes her out to dinner at a nice restaurant."

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

I was making Play-doh animals with my four-year-old niece, Chris, and her three-year-old brother, Neil. While Chris was clearly molding a crude but recognizable dog, figuring what Neil was making was a bit more challenging.

"It's a cat," he told me, "but a truck ran over it."

Sometime later, Chris had made another simple animal shape, but Neil had a rather flat slab of dough on the table in front of him.

"What happened to this one?" I asked.

Neil shrugged and said simply, "Same truck."

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

Two brothers were fast asleep in their room when the eldest heard a thud sound.

Eldest: What's that sound?

Youngest: Oh, it's just my t-shirt falling off my bed.

Eldest: T-shirt? Why was it so loud?

Youngest: Because I was still in it.

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes

When he saw how astronomically high his latest phone bill was, the head of house called a family meeting.

“This is unacceptable,” said the father. ”You have to limit the use of the phone. I never use this phone. I always use the one in the office.”

The mother said, ”Same here. I hardly use the home phone, because I use my work phone.”

The son said, ”Me, too. I never use the home phone. I always use the company's mobile."

”So what is the problem?” asked the maid. ”We all use our work telephones.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "D-Gellybean" |