Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally laid down the law. Each item of clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents.
By the end of the week, he owed her $9.50. She received the money promptly, along with a 50 cent tip and a note that read, "Thanks, Mom, keep up the good work!"
The tot had just been put to bed for the umpteenth time and his mother's patience was wearing thin.
"I don't want to hear you call 'Mother' one more time!" she warned him sternly.
After a few minutes of quiet, a small voice came from upstairs, "Mrs. Jones? Can I have a drink of water?"
My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.
A boy named Carol had a particularly rough childhood because of his uncommon name. He always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, he overcame his hang-up and married his high-school sweetheart.
When their first child was born, he let his wife name her. She named the baby girl “Love” inspired in the same spirit as Carol’s unique name. Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name.
She came home from school one day and screamed at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name. Carol took the blame to protect his wife and apologized. In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away. Minutes later, Carol’s wife came home and saw him lying on the ground.
“What happened?!” she asked, running to him.
He waved her closer, and whispered, “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name!”