family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
1 votes

I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6-year-old son wasn't actually mine.

She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

My husband has always had a beard. One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where my 5-year-old daughter Samantha was and asked her, "Notice anything different?"

To which she replied, "No," with a puzzled look on her face.

My husband then said to her, "My beard's gone."

Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared when she said, "I didn't take it!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "merk" |
2 votes

Constant nagging didn't seem to provide any relief from having to clean up the bathroom after each of my three teenage children.

After I cleaned it one day, I resorted to posting a sign that read: "Please leave the bathroom as you found it."

I noticed the bathroom was in the usual mess after my son used it, so I called, "Brian, how did you find the bathroom?"

After a brief pause, he replied, "Straight down the hall, first door on the right."

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

You Know You're A Mom When...

1. You automatically double-knot everything you tie.

2. You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school.

3. You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.

4. You get so into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.

5. You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak.

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "merk" |