family jokes
Favorite this joke At 3:00 in the morning, Laura woke up and gently tapped her husband on the shoulder. "Hector, wake up, wake up!"
"Huhh?" Hector replied groggily. "What is it?"
"It's the baby."
Hector sat up a bit and listened for about a minute. "But I don't hear him crying."
"Yes," Laura replied. "And it's your turn to find out why."
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank-in-Stein.
Two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom," said my nine-year-old, "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips."
The six-year-old said, "And I look just like Dad, but I have light hair."
Then she turned to me. "Mom," she asked, "what does Dad have to do with us being born anyway?"
Her older sister jumped right in. "Don't be stupid, Christina. Dad is the one who drove Mom to the hospital."
A farmer suddenly went into a coma one day, upon which his wife quickly called the doctor. Upon examining the farmer, the doctor sadly shakes his head and tsks. "I'm very sorry, ma'am, but I'm afraid he's gone. I'll call the funeral home in a moment."
Upon arriving, the morticians carefully placed the body on a stretcher and carried it down the porch steps. As they began to round the corner of the house, the lead barer suddenly lurched to avoid the edge of the fence, lost his balance, and dropped his end of the stretcher. The sudden jolt brought the farmer back to consciousness; in about a week, he'd made a full recovery and went back to working on the farm.
Seven years later, the farmer went into a coma again; the doctor sadly told his wife that the farmer was truly dead this time. As the undertakers came to take the body, his wife whispered, "Watch out for the fence this time."
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