family jokes

Suzie: Mom, I’m doing Geography homework. Where are the Andes?

Mother (not listening closely): How should I know? If you’d put your things away where they belong, you’d be able to find them when you need them.

Before rushing to work, I prepared a casserole for that evening's dinner and put it in the fridge. As I turned to leave, I told my son to stick it in the oven when he got home from school. "Make sure to put it in at 350," I said.

"Sorry, can't," he replied. "I don't get home until quarter after four."

Sally was telling her sister Jane about their sister in law, Candice, was recovering in the hospital following a car accident.

Sally said, "Candice told me that someone up there really loves her."

Jane, scoffing, replied, "No one could even like Candice. It's more like someone up there didn't want her."