family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
$50.00 won 3 votes

People’s parents actually give them sage advice, like “Do what you love, and the money will follow” or “The early bird gets the worm.”

All I remember is, “Don’t fill up on bread.”

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "sravanthi" |
$12.00 won 5 votes

I can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion.

So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove.

Until, that is, my mother gave me this handy tip: “Pull them all up. If it comes back, it’s a weed.”

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "sravanthi" |
1 votes

A very good friend of mine is a single mother of four young beautiful daughters. Over the past couple of months, each one of her children have asked what it's like to be a mommy. She kept telling them when the time is right, she would explain it in such a way that all of them could understand.

So one early morning, at about 3am, she decided to wake all of them up and gather them in her bedroom while they were still half asleep for a little chat. "Remember how all of you asked what it's like to be a mommy?" she says.

"Yes mommy," says the oldest one, "but it's sooo early."

"That's right sweetie," says the mother, "but I can't find my teddy bear, I have an itch on my back that I can't scratch, and where's Fluffy? Plus I'm thirsty and I want a glass of water, my socks keep falling off my feet and I'm sooo cold. Could you please get me another blanket and tuck me in and tell me another story?"

After a brief pause, she adds, "Okay then...do all of you understand now?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Michael Stephen Douglas" |
0 votes

Johnathan asked his young son, "Greg, do you think I’m a bad father?"

"My name is Andrew," replied his son.

0 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Joke Geek" |